I’m back from vacation and surprisingly excited for Monday which I know is something no one has ever heard of in the capitalist dystopia we live in. Spent sometime in the north of France in good company and in the ocean. I can’t remember the last time I went for a swim in nature. This isn’t going to be the “white guy explains the joys of nature like you never heard of it” segment of the blog. There was something very soothing not hearing anything and staring at the rocky coasts. Maybe it was the waves or maybe it was because there were no French people around me? Regardless, I feel at peace.
Elodie is finished after a long time of work. I really have to stop torturing myself with complicated shirts. A promise has been made to stick with more solid colours for the next couple of portraits. Right now, I’m satisfied with this piece and my technique keeps getting better. Despite being a painter for over a decade now, I feel I keep discovering more and more about myself with each portrait. The day I stop learning will hopefully be the day I’m dead. I still don’t understand the point of people who create with a formula that doesn’t change. Are you producing for the sake of producing? I feel another capitalist related comment coming on. As much as a painting like this can break my balls, I enjoy pushing through and knowing I’m capable of doing it. It’s not “oh nice it’s done and looks good” but more “Oh I’m even more of an artist than I thought”.
I’m currently at a stage right now where I’m solid mentally and can create without emotional drama. It’s weird but it’s cool at the same time. I wrote a post on Instagram concerning the whole con of the tortured artist stereotype. There have been paintings I’ve created as a result of suffering but that does not mean I’m going self sabotage because I’m in a good place. That also means I can reflect on things with a clear head which has lead to me doing more confident interviews. I’m happily creating and there’s no need to be dramatic. What I do know is when a rough patch happens, I’ll be okay.